Postal III aims for some "I can't believe they said that!" shock, but the things they are saying became cliche years ago, and relentless repetition encourages you to tune out most of the chatter. Each group either plays its stereotype straight (nerds demand rare action figures!) or does the opposite of what you'd expect it to do (Taliban does business with American fast food joint!), but neither option is ever funny. The rogue's gallery comprises tired stereotypes, including bungling police officers, gay cowboys, dirty hippies, obsessive nerds, angry moms, cranky Asians, and belligerent Taliban. The disjointed flow creates the feeling that Postal III is the result of an attempt to brainstorm a bunch of wacky and offensive scenarios and then stitch them together into a game. The cutscenes help chain these bizarre scenarios together (narrated in bored tones by Postal Dude), but the whole game continues in this scattershot manner. They are also the primary meat supply for a local Mexican/sushi restaurant, so soon, you are beset by machete-wielding, gun-toting Asians in aprons and conical hats. These feral felines are infected with AIDS and are therefore driven to maul human beings. Success! The store owner/mayor/presidential candidate/human slave trafficker (played by porn legend Ron Jeremy) declines to pay you, so it's out on to the street where you get a gig rounding up murderous cats. If you hit one with enough dirty rags, she will vomit profusely and then leave the store. First, you must vacuum up soiled tissues from a porn video arcade and shoot them at protesting hockey moms who have invaded the store under the leadership of a Sarah Palin look-a-like. Your first two jobs offer a glimpse of the vulgarity and irreverence to come. None of it is necessary to follow the plot of Postal III, which is just a long string of bizarre exploits motivated by Dude's need to get paid or get out of bad situations. Postal III begins with a lengthy cutscene chronicling Postal Dude's sordid past, which involves a whole lot of violence and strange characters. When you add in a suite of disruptive and game-crashing bugs, you've got one dismal download. Stilted controls, terrible AI, and poor level design make playing Postal III a chore, while an utter lack of wit or cleverness causes the humor to fall flat. Though the ragged limb dismemberment delivers on the gore front, the game falls short in every other respect. A few sequels and expansion packs later, Postal III has arrived with a fresh new slate of gory gameplay and gross-out humor.
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